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Tuesday, April 20, 2004

So, I just discovered that I got my period. Like, yesterday. I really have to pay more attention. It's just that my mind has been absolutely turned inside out by the new Kill Bill movie. I mean, I saw the first one and HATED IT. My girlfriend and I thought since it had Lucy Liu it would be a good girls-kicking-guys-asses movie but halfway through it was all girls-killing-girls and getting raped, I mean mostly, and I didn't like the old-time music and what's with all the Asians?

So anyway DON'T ASK why I saw the new one and I think that might have been when my period started. Or maybe later at the club. Anyway, I just noticed it.

Guys, if you're reading this you WOULDN'T understand, would they, gals?

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Okay, so I've been out of town getting my liposuction reversed and I get back to my desk and there are, like 276 e-mails from Don, the guy from the park that weekend. So I start to answer them but then I just skip to the last one and ask him if he ever left his wife.

And you know what, he answers me back right away. He says that he is leaving his wife this weekend so he wants to meet and I think he's lying, of course, but I say fine.

We meet up at Cafe Loup and of course the first thing he says is not to pronounce the fucking P for Chrissakes, you fat cunt, and of course that kind of thing always puts me in a damper for a few minutes.

So once he apologizes and I pay the bill it's too late to go to my place so we end up back in the park over by the baseball fields and he does that thing he likes to do while I pretend to tie my shoes.

Why can't I meet a nice guy?

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